When the dress has been put away, the cake’s been eaten, and thank you notes sent, real life for newlyweds starts to slowly creep in. What seemed like perfect bliss the first few months can slowly turn into something quite different. Maybe you didn’t realize how much he snores or maybe he didn’t understand how you would hog the bathroom for hours on end. While it may seem like little things to begin with, these little things can become the source of great frustration over time, building up to what seems impossible annoyances to deal with.
#1 Grow Together
Unfortunately, many marriages end in divorce. Going into marriage knowing this means as newlyweds you need to take the time to focus on growing together – instead of growing apart. This can mean different things for different people. For some, it may mean not questioning whether you married the wrong person every time something goes wrong. For others it means understanding there are phases to marriage and they don’t always last forever (thankfully!).
You need to be able to ride the highs and the lows. Don’t go into a marriage feeling disillusioned in that everything will go as planned and be perfect, much like you wanted your wedding to be, because no marriage is ever perfect. You might have been able to pull off a perfect wedding, but that was just one day. A marriage can last for thousands of days.
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#2 Put in the Necessary Work
Anyone who has been married for any length of time can testify to how much work it takes to have a successful marriage. Every couple learns new things about their new spouse, and sometimes this can be very unnerving – sometimes downright annoying. Whether disagreeing about money or when to have kids, talking to each other while being completely open and honest will help to ease the tension. Marriage is about compromise and doing what’s best for you as a couple, not what’s best for just one person. There are times compromise may not work and someone gets their way, but don’t let it be like that all the time.
#3 This Should Be Your Forever BFF
Marriage is a lot like friendship in that you need to go out of your way to show you care and appreciate your new spouse. Just like a friendship, if time and effort isn’t devoted to that person, ties slowly begin to fade. Making time for one another, especially during the first year is critical. Making sure the relationship is grounded and firm before even considering bringing children into the marriage is paramount, because with children things can go downhill even faster when you’re not grounded. Raising kids requires a lot of time and effort and it can be easy to put your spouse to the side, making them feel like they are no longer important. So establish how important they are now, while you’ve got the time.
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#4 Go Into it For the Long Haul
When you decide to take the leap, make it a point to discuss going the distance beforehand. It is possible to be one of those couples who are still in love, surrounded by grandchildren and family 50 years down the road, but it takes time and devotion, and a lot of understanding. It’s not easy, but as most happily married people will tell you, it’s well worth the effort.
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#5 Shower Each Other With Praise & Gifts
Compliments and praise can go a long way in any relationship and it’s important to celebrate your partners achievements big and small. Random acts of kindness are also just as important when it comes to your partner. Surprise them with thoughtful gifts from time to time. They don’t have to be expensive, but they do have to say “I was thinking of you”. You would be surprised how far this goes in creating a healthy relationship.
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It’s important to know that getting over these issues is a part of being a couple and it’s completely normal and you should expect it. Going into a marriage knowing there’ll be obstacles will greatly decrease the chance these obstacles will affect your new marriage in the long run and isn’t that why you decided to get married in the first place, for it to last forever?